If you are a few weeks away from your daughter’s wedding and you don’t know how to prevail with everything, here are some great tips that will make you become the hero at the end of the day. It is not always easy to write something cleaver and authentic, but with a few right indications you’ll give the best speech ever.
Usually the father of the bride speech is all about feelings and emotions, about new beginnings in life. Being a father you can be really overwhelmed in many decisions and situations, and then feelings might become a barrier in your path but counting to be true and sincere you’ll prevail many times. As a father you ought to find that the right time to speak at a wedding is during the meal or when all the guests have finished eating. But it is accustomed as a father to speak first in the line of speeches and not to worry about a thing since you’ll be announced how the schedule of the ceremony will go.
Or if you are too eager or too nervous about it, you can break the whole chain of tradition and have your wedding speech before the meal is being served. That way you’ll be a lot calmer and you’ll rest as you watch that the whole situations didn’t take you by surprise. Of course that being the first who stepped out you’ll give the other speakers some more time before have their turn and you can enjoy the end of your evening a lot faster.
Another step that you should take into consideration is not to forget that like any other speech, your speech should have a structure. All speeches have an introduction, a middle part and an ending that will finish with a toast and best wishes as well. The best option for a speech is that it should be of six or eight minutes, where the scene is yours. However, try not to exceed 5-6 minutes, because speaking for 8 minutes doesn’t always work out as you wanted or assumed.
You can start by having a plan like some headings where you comprise (in a few words) the perspective of the event. I’m sure that you contributed a lot to this day to make your daughter and her groom feel appreciated and well, but so did others. After introducing yourself you can easily add a thanking section where you include all the guests, as well as those who had an active part in this wedding. Try not to make it a true Oscar winning appreciation but keep it short and meaningful.
After this part you can add some facts about your daughter, her career, and her traits that made her such a special and caring person. Since it is her wedding, skip the shameful parts where she feels awkward and cut to the point of true and sincere feelings. It is the big day when your daughter will set foot to new horizons and encounter new perspectives. Yes, she will always be your child but now she has all grown up and she deserves your support.
Life is not easy but it is very different when you know that you (as a bride) can count not only on your mate but also on your father in this whole new life stage. After you’ve established some details about your daughter’s early years and her character’s best features you can now say some words about her relationship with the groom who will be the one to be next to her all the time.
These topics will make your speech easier and you can find plenty of ideas that will make it as original as a speech could be. Don’t be afraid to let your inspiration flow and reveal the best writing skills in you. As long as you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings by your remarks, compliments will always have their place at an event like this.
You can put up a combination of feelings and some quality humor that will open the hearts of many towards what you have to say. People will always listen to a person to whom they can relate in a way or another. They can really be motivated and find some of your words as a life motto to follow. That is why at your daughter’s wedding, besides welcoming the groom in your family and making him feel appreciated, you also can give some marriage advices to follow. You’ll never know how much this can bring up some of life’s wisdom that was all gathered up from years of experience, from things you have lived on your own skin – whether they were pleasant or not (unpleasant experiences leading to wisdom you can now share so that these youngsters don’t repeat your past mistakes that potentially made you suffer).
At the end of the day you’ll have made your daughter very thankful for all the love and support that you’ve shown on this day, and trust me that this will count and it will definitely make a huge difference. Still, it is best to avoid that trap of time when you feel so comfortable with yourself that you begin to ramble a lot and you’ll figure out later that many guests felt bored and you’ve lost them on the way, assuming that everything you said was so interesting.
Make the whole speech have sense and be of good taste. Try to be careful with the jokes and stories that you pull out from the memory line, because not all of them have the same impact as they have on you. It doesn’t mean that if you find them very funny it will be the same thing for those who listen, they might have a different opinion towards them.
Ask for advices from your friends and family members about the topics found in your speech and accept every good detail that will improve it. It is important not to make the crowd lose their patience or to force them into something they wouldn’t want to hear. Make them count and keep them as short as possible.
Also, be a good observer of the audience, a good speaker is always a speaker who can adapt fast even in the middle of his speech. Forget the parts that really make your speech if they are not accepted or welcomed try to keep it as short as it can be.
Smile and stay focused on what you have to say without looking too weird. You can look at the groom and the bride in their eyes as you address the words to them, but at the same time you should look in the eyes of those present at this ceremony. The reception after is an important place where you meet new people and you make acquaintances or you see old friends, so be as diplomatic as you can be.
Your bride’s father speech should not be structured in a formal manner, but you should think of it more as of a pleasant conversation with a friend. That way you’ll stay natural, calm and detached of any stress factor. Your confidence is well earned many times by the moments of early practice.
When you usually rehearse at home, the words that you read are starting to be imprinted not only into your mind but also into your heart, letting the moments of emotions be captured and revealed as you deliver the speech. There is not a reason to be nervous about it, even if you are not such a brilliant writer or speaker, because people accept you as you are, when you are true to yourself and your daughter – and obviously her wedding as well.
Many of those guests who are standing in the audience have children of their own and they’ve already passed through an event like this. It is important to remember that by reading it all over again you’ll find the words of your speech more familiar than ever, even if you don’t memorize it as a poem, you’ll be able to live them by the heart.
It is not a rule to not take some notes with you if you are very emotional, but don’t take the whole speech with you and spend more time reading from the page that you brought and less time creating a connection or a bound with the audience. This will let everyone think that you weren’t capable to say some meaningful things from your heart.
To avoid any unexpected situations where you’ll panic because you don’t find the notes of your speech or even the whole speech, make some copies that you can distribute among the friends and family members who are present and that way you’ll be covered if you leave the notes at home.
As a speaker you should know that your body language, the tone of your voice, the pauses between sentences or jokes to create a desired effect are all really important, as well as the gestures and mimics. You can see how you sound and how you move while delivering the speech early at home where in your quiet moments you videotape yourself, or just use a mirror to look at the position of your body as you speak.
Some people, because they are stressed, have certain mimics or gestures that make them repeat some words or phrases, and behaviours that make them do weird things as they react to a certain situation. In the case of delivering a speech the most common mistake is to fix your eyes upon a person and just stand there without making eye contact with the others. Your gazes should always be friendly and opened to everyone who will hear you speaking.
You are after all at a wedding and never forget to have a suitable outfit, a clear tone of your voice and try to keep your hands near your body as much as possible and don’t try to lift them often in the air. It is also unpleasant to try gesticulating too much. A right body language is crucial at the point of delivering a speech because you denote a lot of feelings with it. For example, by some movements, you can show excitement, negativity towards someone or something, pleasure, joy and others. These emotions will stir up the atmosphere around you and will always influence the audience for the worst or for the best.
Your speech will be well-received if you take a microphone for a better acoustic of the sound but also for making sure that everyone can hear you as you speak, even if they are further away from your position (be it at the table, or in the front on “stage”). If you speak slowly and clearly, you’ll let people enjoy your message that you want to transmit and appreciate the manner of your voice that will touch their hearts. But if you speak very loudly and quickly, people will not understand you at all and they will think that you are in a hurry to do something else or just to finish up earlier than scheduled, so that you can escape the entire situation.
It is always wise not to drink much before you deliver the speech, because if you do so without realizing it you can say words that you’ll regret later, you can put yourself and the whole family in a posture that looks bad, and be embarrassed later. The most important thing is not to forget that at many weddings the bride and the groom will ask that their event is taped, or video recorded. As the father of the bride you don’t want to look forever as a sloppy person in front of the cameras.
Being at your daughter’s wedding be a proud dad and don’t forget to have fun – after all you are surrounded by friends and family who really care for you and your children, and it is time to let go of all those negative emotions that you had until now. If you have their support, what else could be keeping you from having more confidence in yourself?
Their experiences and your learning will help you deliver the best speech ever. Enjoy every second of this event and finish up with a great toast that can be structured as a wish, a quote that you’ve followed up and have known very well or even the verses from a song or a poem that have rooted a great and true knowledge about love, marriage or whatever you find to be suitable for this event and the newlyweds.
Doing things from love and from your heart will make the difference. The father of the bride speech is one of those speeches that are full of emotions, whether they are meant to make you laugh and cry at the same time, they describe a deep relation and a true appreciation for your child and the one person who succeeded to change her life for the best and make your daughter the happiest women: the groom.